Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Jake Version 4.5

As I alluded to a few weeks ago, Jake is very competitive in nature. He loves to play games and he loves to win. Teaching him to be a good sport is an ongoing process with him but part of the problem is that he is so good at just about everything he tries and if its something he is maybe not so good at, he is extremely hard on himself. The teacher even pointed out once about his lack of enthusiasm for coloring and that it most likely comes from this need to be a perfect. She has seen it before and has found that most kids grow to like coloring pictures once they can better stay within the lines. Like with Jadyn's story telling, I have no idea where Jake would get his perfectionist tendencies (as I look away, darting my eyes unassumingly). It has even started to affect his appearance. Today, when I was trying to put his shoes on he warned me not to mess up his hair. On Christmas Eve when I gave him a casual t-shirt and jeans to wear just for the ride over to Joe's family he announced to me that the outfit was not perfect to wear to Grandma and Grandpa's. Seriously, it is funny but I hope he learns to cut himself some slack!

On the other end of the spectrum, Jake is a very generous and thoughtful young boy. He almost always shares and loves to look out for his sister. At his school holiday party they were each given two sugar cookies to decorate and eat. When one of the Mommy volunteers noticed that Jake's second cookie had been decorated but not eaten she asked him why. He replied that he was saving it for his sister. The teacher then offered Jake a third cookie to make and save for Jadyn so he could still enjoy his two but he was insistent that the cookie in question was especially for Jadyn. He does little things like that all the time.

As you all know, I work from home on the computer and although I try to give the kids undivided attention when they need something, occasionally they have to be told to wait while I finish something up. I might say something like "Let me finish this one report" or "Mommy needs to finish correcting this file". You never realize how much kids catch on to this until one day, Jake was messing around on the computer when I asked him to do something. He swiveled toward me in the computer chair and said, "Hold on Mom, I am correcting my file". I just about died of laughter.

Jake has also been experiencing the ups and downs of having friends. He tells me that his best friend is Adan but his favorite friend at school is Gavin. However a few months ago I was telling Jake something he did not want to hear when he responded to me by saying that I was not his friend anymore. I tried to ask him where he had heard that or who had said that to him (although I had my suspicions) but he wouldn't say. Over the next few days, I caught him saying it to his sister as well when they were fighting over a toy or she was not following his directions as he wished. At that point I sat him down and we had a long discussion about how hurtful such a thing is to say and he very tearfully admitted that another classmate at school had said it to him after they had gotten in a disagreement at school. After talking to the teacher, it turns out that this classmate, who is also friends with both Jake and Gavin had been feeling a little left out because apparently Jake and Gavin have formed such a special bond. It broke my heart when I realized how much it had hurt Jake to have it said to him and I also felt for the classmate who was feeling excluded. I guess I need to grow a thicker skin because I am sure these types of things are bound to happen through the years.

Jake has also been role playing, first with his friends at school and now with Jadyn at home. It's the age old game of good guys versus bad guys only Jake calls them mad guys. "We have to get the mad guys!" he will yell. This has of course rubbed off on Jadyn and now neither really seem to understand the difference between the words. The other day Nago ate a piece of Jake's breakfast that he had left out on the table and Jadyn yelled at her, "That's a mad Nago!"

I realize Jake may be a little bit late on this but he has finally started to question the universe. Why, why oh why. Why do the leaves fall from the trees in the Fall? Why is the sky blue? Why do we get boogers in our nose? He also questions my authority and I have to walk a fine line with that one. I don't want to always just say, "Because I said so". Therefore I try to give him an explanation when it is something he may not know the reasoning behind. On the other hand when he knows exactly why I am telling him no or asking him to stop a particular behavior, I have to put on my discipline hat. For example he knows he gets to play his video game during Jadyn's nap. When he asks if he can play it at other times and I tell him no, he might respond by asking, "Why Mom?" This is when I firmly inform him that he knows why and if he asks again he will lose hs privilege for the day.

For those that are not into bodily functions, you may not appreciate this one but it seems to get a good laugh out of those I have told in person. Jake has become obsessed with telling us what he is eliminating when he goes to the bathroom. He will go "stinky" as we call it and then say, "Oh, that was the toast I ate for breakfast" or "That was the turkey sandwich I had for lunch". As well, he is obsessed with the cleanliness of his behind, even though he still is very reluctant to wipe himself, he constantly questions whether or not I did a good enough job. If he REALLY does not believe me he will waddle into our bedroom, pants still around his ankles and bend over to check in our full length closeted mirrors. It's pretty funny but at the same time, I don't know what ever gave him reason to doubt my thoroughness. If he is really going to be THAT obsessive, clearly it is time he start taking care of it himself.

With soccer over for the season and t-ball still months off, Jake has been spending much of his free time building and making up games (and then getting frustrated, even putting hands on hips and huffing when Jadyn fails to follow the rules). While he used to have to ask for help in constructing a train track, he now relishes in the design process. He is becoming more interested in playing with Legos and Lincoln Logs and things of that nature as well. His capabilities never fail to astound me. Of course his "race cars" are still his favorite toy and he has endlessly been talking about getting trick tracks for Christmas. So here is a video with the various track sets he received for Christmas in action. I don't believe Joe had to help him much in completing the design and honestly I don't know if I could help if I wanted to. The toys boys play with seem to get rather complex with age. I think I might be in trouble.






Even as Jake grows and matures, there is one thing about his personality that has remained constant. He is very loving. He loves to snuggle and when Jadyn gets hurt, he is always quick to try and cheer her up with a hug and some tickling. Of course, sometimes that is to ensure he is not blamed for whatever the reason is that made her cry in the first place and that is where you have to watch out for Jake - he can be a little manipulative at times. Still you have to give him credit for trying and a majority of the time his intentions are good.

Here are a few pics I have failed to share in the last few months, the first of him receiving his medal at the end of soccer season and the second from our traditional leaf collecting excursion in the fall followed lastly with a classic example of him being a doting big brother:






So that's a look at Jake Version 4.5. He is a competitor and strives for perfection. He is inventive, thoughtful and loving but most importantly, he is our growing boy.

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