Update on Mother's Day Resolutions

As some of you may recall, back in May I had wrote about what I perceived as my shortcomings as a mother. You can refresh your memory here. As it has now been a little over 3 months, I thought I would update everyone as to how those resolutions are coming along. And for the record, I really appreciated all the support I received after that post. It took a lot of courage on my part to share my insecurities and admit where I wanted to improve but I have to reiterate that I do know I am a good mother. I just did not feel I was being the best mother I could possibly be to my kids and I think my kids deserve nothing less than the best of me. With that said.....

1) Computer time (work related or other) is restricted to before the kids wake up, nap time and after they go to bed or designated times when Joe is home to watch them.

While I do find myself getting my file started in the morning while the kids play independently, I have learned when to call it quits and join them in their fun. As for limiting my computer time for personal use, that initially turned out to be much harder than I anticipated but I am slowly finding myself less and less dependent on checking in on my usual sites and limit it to a couple times a day. Overall, I would consider this resolution accomplished.

2) Follow our routine to include educational activities, arts/crafts time and outside time every day, especially days without structured activities like school or play dates.

This became extremely important at the end of May when school ended for the summer. It also became a little complicated because we had vacations, illness, day trips and intermittent activities (like swim lessons) throw into the mix and while I admit to originally envisioning an updated version of my schedule chart I had for Jake back in the day, the kids generally know what order to expect things to come in. And we have definitely been doing a lot of fun activities while at home - play-doh, finger painting, coloring with both crayons and markers, reading books, completing hidden picture puzzles together, singing and dancing to Kindermusik CDs, playing Candyland and Chutes and Ladders. Jake has been learning how to write his letters and is picking it up at an amazing pace. Jadyn is fascinated with trying to draw shapes and she loves the Play-Doh. I would also consider this resolution to be accomplished and think once our fall schedule begins, things will fall even further into place.

3) Work on having both kids fall asleep on their own in their own beds at a reasonable bedtime.

Again, not to make excuses, but we have had a lot of events that would hinder accomplishing this task and we still have the rare day when the kids are so off schedule we just take them both to our bed and we all fall asleep together, but this is rare. Considering it does not even start to get dark until 8pm, and is usually too hot to play outside until after dinner, I would consider a summer bedtime of 9pm to be reasonable. Honestly, most nights it is closer to 9:30, sometimes pushing 10pm but generally speaking they both start the night off in their bed. Jake still requires that you lay down with him but he is getting much better and sleeping longer stretches before wandering into our room. Jadyn is very hit and miss. Some nights she won't fall asleep without us in the room, other nights she is fine to be left alone. I would say about 50% of the time she sleeps the whole night in her room, while the other 50% she cries to come to bed with us around 2am. It seems to go in spurts. I did not, like I originally planned, start sleep training them once school got out. Again we have had a lot of disruptions. So while I can not check this resolution off on my list, at least we have made some improvements.

4) Work on weaning Jadyn off the pacifier.

I did not have a clear idea of how quickly I wanted to wean Jadyn off the pacifier at the time I wrote these resolutions. I just knew that there had been a time when she basically only used the paci for sleep and long car rides and it had since become far to easy to just give her the paci whenever she was whining. That has stopped. For Jadyn, the pacifier is very out of sight, out of mind. So, we started having her put it under her pillow before getting out of bed and then putting it up. I can happily report that she NEVER asks for it during the day unless she is getting ready to take a nap or go to bed at night. I have even been trying to limit it in the car unless she is due to sleep BUT having said that, I am a very easily distracted driver so if she is whining a lot and specifically asking for it AND we are going to be in the car for more than 10-15 minutes, I give it to her. I would like to see her give her pacifiers to the binky fairy as soon as I feel she would really be able to comprehend what I am asking of her. I am thinking maybe at 2 1/2 unless she shows sure fire signs of being ready sooner. Since her paci use is so limited now and her speech is fine, I am not going to worry about this one for now. Resolution accomplished.

5) Reread 1-2-3 Magic and consistently apply to both kids for discipline.

I did re-read this book and cannot recommend it enough. I read it thinking specifically how I could apply it to Jadyn (since Jake was 3 when I originally read it for him) and how I could tweak my use of the techniques to combat Jake's bouts with attitude (and can I say how surprised I am at how much attitude can come from a 4-year-old, LOL!) and sibling squabbling. We have seen a difference both in the kids behavior and in our patience level since we have a plan of attack when they act up. And the reality is they are both pretty well-behaved kids. This resolution is accomplished.

6) After a morning cartoon while I shower, the TV is off for a majority of the day. Jake has his video game time during Jadyn's afternoon nap and Joe and I can watch our shows after the kids are in bed. After all, that's what TiVo is for. LOL!

My blog does not allow for detrimental comments about my beloved so I shall tread lightly on this subject. Suffice to say, that 98% of the time, I have definitely been following this one. Some days the kids do not even watch a cartoon in the morning and although they have been watching Letter Factory daily, that is often their only TV. Most days, the TV is turned to music until Joe gets home from work (except for Jake's video game time during Jadyn's nap). I only watch my shows late at night after the kids are in bed. That is not to say I don't have the occasional emergency, where in an effort to get a file completed I allow back-to-back episodes of Thomas or Diego but it is the exception and not the rule. And in all honestly, Joe has been really good about keeping it on music when he is not actually watching TV. So that is progress. I guess I can consider this resolution accomplished.

These resolutions are still a work in progress. All of them can still be improved upon or at the very least take effort to keep up. It has been very helpful to know that I am accountable not only to myself and my family but that at some point, I was going to want to blog about it. With Fall activities resuming this week, I would like to add a few new resolutions. I am not much of a "new year resolution" type of person but there is something about Back to School time that puts me in the mood to form new habits. Most of these resolutions are less mother related and more personal and most relate to organization.

1) Start potty training Jadyn. Did I mention she went pee-pee on the potty last week? She just needs some consistency on my part and I think she will get the idea pretty quickly. I should have done this over the summer but I didn't so I will have to do my best considering we will be running around to activities a little more.

2) Strengthen the kids daily routine. I have already updated the typed out schedule for the kids with pictures to keep them in the loop. I LOVE making lists. Now I just need to stick to them.

3) Meal planning. Again I updated our master grocery list and created a 2 week dinner menu. Now I just have to stick to it.

4) Cleaning. I updated my cleaning schedule to mesh well with my work schedule and the kids schedule so if I stick to it, I should never feel overwhelmed by the state of the house or need to clean the house top to bottom in one day.

5) Work on educational time with Jadyn (since she is not doing YMCA), craft time for both kids on non-school days and continue working with Jake on his budding reading skills (again probably concentrating on non-school days).

6) Start exercising more regularly. The heat is starting to die down so no excuse not to take the kids to the park and walk. It is built into our routine for Tues/Thurs mornings. On alternating days I would like to do the WiiFit and then walk either by myself or with the family once on the weekend.

7) Complete end-of-the-month tasks to include going over the budget, uploading pictures to a third party site, ordering said pictures and backing up my blog. Gotta preserve those memories!

Okay it is time to end this marathon post but I will keep you udpated on my progress and appreciate the support. Happy Back to School (I love this time of year so much I feel like it should be a national holiday! I am weird or what?)