Wednesday, March 10, 2010

One-Sided

I have so many posts I want to write. I want to tell everyone about Jadyn's trip to the dentist and what a wonderful day we had afterwards. I want to tell everyone about Jadyn's new dance class. I want to post pictures about our recent trip to the visiting pet zoo and how Jadyn finally rode a pony. I want to show everyone Jadyn's new look before we go out. I just shared Jadyn's preschool pictures. Are we sensing a theme here? Jadyn, Jadyn, Jadyn. And Jadyn.

Where is Jake in all of this? Well for the most part he is at school. At least for 27 hours during the week he is. And then he gets home and does his hour of video game time, homework and/or reading if he has any and then an hour or so of playtime before its dinner, bath, books and bed.

So it would make sense that I would have more blogging material about Jadyn. Not only do we spend more time alone together but it seems the younger the child, the more quickly they develop and change. So while Jake is learning new things and doing well his first year at public school, there just isn't as much to report on him.

But for me, it's more than that. Although Jake still loves to cuddle with his mommy and we enjoy a lot of family time together on the weekends, I am struggling with the lack of quality one-on-one time I get with him.

From the time Jadyn was born, I have set aside time to go on "dates" with Jake. At first it was story time at the library and then it was a monthly movie and lunch at McDonalds. This is something I still could do with him but most of the time Jadyn wants to come too and frankly, Jake wants her there too since they are such good playmates. What fun is the Playland at McDonald's without little sister there too? Last month, I tried to plan a date to go bowling alone with him and I thought he understood when I explained it was just going to be him and I but before I could even turn around he had run to tell Jadyn that we were all going bowling. At least now I know not to say anything to him until we are in the car on our way.

I also used to set aside special time with him when Jadyn napped - we would build new train tracks, Legos or a marble race design, or I would sit down and race him at Mario Kart. We can still do these things together but there is no guarantee that Jadyn won't want to be right there with us, since for the most part she no longer naps.

I am in the process of planning a Mommy/son date with Jake and with baseball starting next week, that is something else we can do together (since I normally help coach or team mom). I also know that although things may seem uneven now, it all works out in the end. I mean Jake got to be alone with me for 2 years before Jadyn came along and before I know it, they will both be in school all day, which will actually make it easier to take one of out of school for special occasions. It's not like Jake seems bothered by the lack of one-on-one time we get - it is more an issue that I am dealing with.

Ironically, since starting this post, Jake got ill and I had to keep him out of school for two days. While he was recovering on Tuesday and Jadyn was at preschool, we got to spend some quality one-on-one time together at home. Funny how things tend to work themselves. Just sorry he had to puke his guts out for a day to make it happen.

4 comments:

Steph said...

This is something I worry about for Cooper with a new baby on the way- finding time to be with him one on one. I don't want to lose that time with him where we can just spend it the two of us. I hope Jake feels better soon.

Heidi O said...

I understand that. But my kids do actually enjoy doing things separately. Something that needs to be done separately at least if you are my children is the pottery painting. It is fun but you can use what is painted as gifts for grandparents. I don't know if Jake would like that.

Carrie77 said...

I too have been thinking of doing Mommy/Son dates with Nathan and I had planned a BounceU playdate (he has never been to a bounce house) and of course we all got sick that week! Boo! So I need to reschedule!

Joanna said...

Ah, I love it when a stomach bugs brings a family together.

Wait...what did i just say? That's weird even for me.

I'm glad you got some quality Jake time. It sounds like you needed it.