Tuesday, January 26, 2010

who am I?

Last September, a group of blog-friends from our circle got together in New York. Afterward, they all wrote posts describing one another and what it was like to meet in person after only knowing them through their blogs. It made me wonder how people would describe me. I don't think I have a very distinctive personality or that one particular trait sticks out above the rest. One friend recently said that when describing me to his wife, whom I had never met he said I was a clean freak, opinionated and liked to shop. All true, although I would have to qualify the opinionated statement by adding that although I have strong opinions, I don't think I try to push them on others or judge those who don't share mine. I am also not sure those would be the top three personality traits that would first come up when describing me. Anyway, this is probably my most personal blog post EVER, but I want my kids to know ME. So this is what I came up with:

I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister.

I work in the field of medical transcription.

I have a college degree in psychology

But don't work in my field

And don't know if I ever will.

I love to shop but have no money

I have no money because I love to shop.

I love to read and write.

I love to walk.

Photography is my hobby

Even though I am not very good at it.

I love quirky TV dramas, indie films and alt rock

But appear to be the most mainstream type person you'll ever meet.

I have no style of my own

But am not ashamed to borrow it.

I am obsessed with vampires

But hate monsters

I am an animal lover

Who wants a million pets

And refuses to eat cows and pigs

But have no problem with poultry and fish.

I love to be in nature

But am the most unnatural person on the surface.

In high school, I was named the least biodegradable

Because I wore so much make-up and hair product

And yes it was a cruel thing for my fellow classmates to do

And yes it hurt my feelings

But I still don't leave the house without make-up on

And am addicted to my blond.

I don't drink much

Because I get migraine headaches.

If I didn't get headaches

I would probably be a lush.

I have done some things in my past that I am not very proud of

But I refuse to regret them because they shaped who I am today

Even though I am not always sure of who that person is.

I don't have a lot of friends.

I am not an easy person to get to know

But for those few who do

They know I am fiercely loyal

And would do anything to lend a hand.

I am a self-proclaimed neat freak

Who takes organization to an extreme

But can't be on time to save my life.

I love making to do lists

And the feeling when I complete them.

When I don't have the answer

I search until I find it

Which makes it frustrating

When I can't.

I wish I had infinite patience

But I don't.

Some may view me as uptight

But they don't want to see me unwound.

I love the beach

But don't want to live there.

I love the water

But can't really swim

And don't like to get my hair wet

because then it looks like crap.

I can be selfish

But love to give.

I need a lot of alone time

But crave the company of those I love.

I am a homebody

Who loves to explore new places

I want to see the world

But am terrified of flying

I don't believe in God

But am afraid to piss Him off.

And know I already have.

I am starting to feel old

But have never felt so alive

And so loved

And so blessed.

I am unique.

I am me.


Lindsay said...

I think you're at the top of my Most Meet list. =)

Lindsay said...

I meant Must Meet. Duh.

Carrie77 said...

Everything you wrote sounds sincere and true. :o)- Congrats on knowing your inner being and core.

LauraC said...

It makes me sad to read that you think you don't have a very distinctive personality. How can you not and still be in our group?! That's why I say meeting blogfriends is like putting the icing on the cake - you only get a glimpse of 10% of the person on the blog and meeting in person fills in the rest.

London said...

Love this post! It's nice to see other people spilling their guts for once! Anyway, we have a lot in common, methinks. I'm a homebody too and don't have many real life friends. Which is funny, since I have sooo many e-friends.

Even though I was lucky enough to meet a bunch of my blog friends, I feel as though I didn't represent my true self to them. (Okay I was still pretty much reeling from unplanned pregnancy news.)

Okay, I'm rambling, but I totally agree with Lindsay, we must meet someday!

Steph said...

Jenn, that was great. Although I think that you do have a distinctive personality. I know we would have tons of fun together IRL and have to make a blog or WAHM meeting sometime!

Joanna said...

Dude, you totally have a distinct personality! It comes through in everything you write. You just aren't pushy about it.

As to the guy who thinks you are opinionated...let me translate what he means. He means that you have opinions that are different from his and you voice them. It doesn't say very much for his opinion of women. I'm sure that he would find me simply appalling.

Joanna said...

Oops, I started ranting. I also meant to add that I'm with Lindsay and London and really want to meet you as well. Laura's the lucky one...

JenFen said...

Joanna - I think I may have thrown my friend under the bus so let me clarify that a) he is one of my best friends and we love each other dearly. b) I think what he was trying to say was that I am not afraid to speak my mind and I also think because his wife is the same way he thought we may not get along because we don't agree on certain things BUT it turns out because we are both respectful and open-minded, it doesn't matter that we don't always agree - we get along well and am happy to call her one of my closest friends.

I think my personality comes across on my blog better than in person, which is why although I totally want to meet you and other blog-friends, I guess I am a little nervous about how I will come across. Like London said, I guess I am afraid I won't represent my true self.

But then again, that is part of my personality - I over-think everything : )

Joanna said...

Darn, so much for my righteous indignation. In this case, I'd rather be wrong.

Karen said...

I think this post really shows how comfortable you are in your skin and know yourself. Most people would be afraid to admit who they truly are. And it's great that you want your kids to know the "real" you too!!

Cubrit said...

Catching up with everyone's blogs and I have to say I loved this post.