Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Permission

One of the gifts that Jadyn got from Santa for Christmas was a gift certificate to visit Build-A-Bear. I cannot believe with her love of stuffed animals that we had not been before but this last Saturday I took Jadyn to use her certificate and needless to say, she was in heaven.

It really is a super cute idea, even if is a little pricey. You get to pick out which bear or animal you want to make. You get to decide if you want your new friend to have a sound. They had Jadyn kiss the heart and make a wish before putting it inside to be stuffed. Jadyn got to work the pedal, approve of the amount of stuffing for just the right cuddly-ness and watch her get sewn up. Then finally to really ensure it was a unique creation, Jadyn got to dress her new friend up and name it. We left with her new friend, a cardboard house to keep it in and a birth certificate showing that she belonged to Jadyn.

As we left, I asked Jadyn if I could take a picture of her with my camera phone in front of the store, new friend in hand. May I introduce to you "Kitty of Hearts":


After I snapped the picture of Jadyn and showed it to her for approval, she told me that I could show all my friends if I wanted.

This got me thinking. Obviously she was not taking about the friends I see in everyday life, because the only person I see and talk to on a regular basis is Rose and if she was talking about her she would have said that. It was in that moment that I realized, Jadyn knows that I get on the computer and post pictures of her to show to family and friends. She may not completely understand it. She may not be able to differentiate between Facebook, email and my blog but she does "get" it. And suddenly I am starting to "get it" as well.

You see awhile back a couple of my blog friends (most notably LauraC and Joanna) wrote posts about the future of their blogs and how now that the kids were getting older, it might change what they would be willing to share about them. At the time, I thought I understood what they were saying but I wasn't sure that I agreed that it might present a problem. But here Jadyn was, very proud of her new kitty, basically giving me permission and wanting me to share the picture of her. Would she be as willing to give her permission if I was writing about the fit she threw last week or how contrary she can sometimes be?

As if I needed further proof of this concept, Sunday night at bedtime, Jake was showing me how much looser his tooth had gotten and how he really thought it was close to falling out. After giving him hugs and kisses, I was about to walk away when suddenly out of nowhere he tells me, "You can write to all your friends about my loose tooth if you want to". Again, he also seems to "get it". That I am communicating to people on my phone and the computer and that some or most of that communication is related to my kids. Furthermore, here he was also giving me permission to share something exciting that was going on in his life. Would he be upset if he knew that I was also sharing other things that he might not be so proud of?

These moments, seemingly so small and simple to everyone else, including my kids, was a lightbulb for me. I don't know what it means as far as the future of my blog or even my status updates on Facebook. I benefit so much from sharing my life online with my friends and family and my blog is not only my memory book for our family, it is an creative and therapeutic outlet that I am not willing to give up. However, I would be remiss to ignore what the kids revealed to me this weekend, that they do get, at least in part what I am sharing online and that in order to truly consider their feelings, I may just have to start asking for permission. We will just have to wait and see.


4 comments:

  1. You bring up a good point that I had not considered before... Cooper also somewhat gets it too these days. If he ever sees that I am on the computer he wants to know if the boys in the pictures he sees are him (usually London's Batman for some reason) and who the girls are that are his age, etc. You are right that at some point there will come a time when things will need to change.. I guess it's figuring out where that line is for each of us.

    Cute Build a Bear, btw. Cooper has a cat and a monkey, but these days I will let him get clothes for the two he has rather than make any new animals. We can only house so many stuffed animals around here before the house is full of stuffed friends. :)

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  2. Cute! Analese has told me before when Mariele did something cute, "Mommy, you should go blog about that!" HA! I want to keep my blog around, even if we have to go private with it someday. But like you, I like to use it as a "memory book."

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  3. Well, you know that I get the permission part of the post, so I'll comment on the build-a-bear part. That place scares me. I don't know why. I've hand sewn teddy bears for people, and I enjoy doing it. There's just something so creepy about the way they work it. It's more of a Franken bear than a teddy bear place to me.

    But, I'm glad that Jaydn enjoyed her trip and loves her new kitty.

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  4. This is why I'm pretty careful about what's on my blog. My husband has requested that I not use our names or other identifying info. In general my blog is more about me and my thoughts than about the kids directly although I do tell some stories about them. I don't think I've written anything yet that they would be embarassed about later...

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